What makes Pixie tick? God only knows, but here’s what she thinks about missing testicles:
I read with interest a recent DMI Health Screening booklet which said: “If one of your testicles is missing, consult your doctor as soon as possible.”
Call me old fashioned, but HOW FUCKING OBVIOUS IS THAT? If I noticed one of my tits was missing or my mooey had sealed up, I’d be on the phone to NHS Direct before you could say “female circumcision”!
Surely if something is missing the correct action to take would be to report it to the police, although it wouldn’t be so much “missing persons” as “missing pods”. Can you imagine putting a photo on the side of a milk carton? “Have you seen this goolie? Missing in action! Reward offered for safe return: free gonad massage at Madame Plum’s Scrotal Sanctuary”.
If one of your testicles does go missing, there is an alternative to reporting it to the police: send me a photo and I’ll put it in Pixie’s Lost & Found Section.
Did one of your nads disappear? If so, we’d like to hear about it for a forthcoming feature, O Bollock Where Art Thou? |
